Angel's Wings

This week I received a lovely pair of angel wing earrings that I had ordered and it got me wondering......wondering what it would be like if we could physically see and touch our guardian angel on earth.

I can only imagine how it could feel knowing that this perfect being filled with light and God's glory walks besides me to help me, feed my soul and keep me safe. How glorious it could be holding their hand experiencing peace and warmth run through our veins to our souls.

Would we ever feel alone again? Would we ever experience free will, pain, suffering and darkness? I don't think we can fully comprehend what it would feel like. These big wings engulfing us when our spirit seems to be dwindling.

Then I questioned, why many of us find it easier to believe in having guardian angels but not able to fully believe in the God who gave them to us. We know this because in the Bible, Luke talks about how God sent angels to help Jesus. Jesus as a man was perfect. How perfect is God?

The answer I came up with is that God is so big and wonderful that we can't grasp the entirety of his being. Also like many humans, "seeing is believing". Writing this blog, I am still trying to imagine the "size" of God and it overwhelms me how big that really is.

If our guardians are so bright with light, glory, peace, strength, faith, hope, love that God's entrusts us to them, I can only imagine how bright, glorified, peaceful and strong our God is. How filled with faith, hope and love He really is.

Even though I can't see them, it comforts me to know that my Creator has angels he can send to all of us to wrap their wings around me, feed my soul, fill my soul and protect me from evil. It also comforts me that they keep me safe and with God's grace, helps me to walk the path of His will.

To protect, to serve, to save to heal – who helps them?

A couple of weeks ago, we all saw a YouTube video go viral about police brutality in Cape Town.  Police brutality is around and as I don’t condone it, what made me wonder is what is making the policemen and women so angry that their anger makes them go that far.

A lot of the time, we forget that our civil servants are traumatized and often on a daily basis. Try to imagine the emotions that you would experience if you had to see a murder scene, find a child that was raped, old lady mugged and this could be experienced in one working shift. How do you deal with all of this?

I know you are probably saying to yourself that no one made them choose that job but what would happen if no one chose to be a policeman, a fire-fighter, a nurse? Why aren’t the heads of these departments not making sure that they are being counselled on a regular basis? Why, do a lot of them, when they do get help are stereotyped by their industry?

I was a wife of a police reservist and I remember the look in his eyes when he saw or experienced something that bothered him. Now, imagine, going through all of this and coming home to your family and you can’t even discuss the case with your wife to help you decompress. Yet, your family also has to try and be understanding, coping with the mood swings and stress.  Imagine not knowing fully what your spouse or partner sees on a daily basis. A lot of them also don’t discuss it to protect their family of the harsh realities of the streets outside our front doors.

The psychologists hired by these departments, can they be trusted? Are they trying to encourage the men and women to come and see them or do they wait until they are forced to come and see them? Do they honestly and truly keep confidentiality? I am not blaming them for what is going on but something is clearly wrong. Whatever it is needs to be found and the issues need to be resolved or ways are the people in charge need to finds to help our civil servants cope and manage whatever it is.

Our civil servants should be among the highly paid employees in South Africa. Why, you say? Because our lives are in their hands on a daily basis and I feel, if we look after them, show them we support them and lift their morale, and then maybe they will stay on the straight and narrow to provide us with the best possible service.

In order for them, to reduce their anger, their out lashing of violence, we need to support them and give them the help they need for this anger, their stress and the trauma they experience.

Many of the people I still know in these industries don’t realize that I often see the trauma in their eyes, their face. I can only imagine how they feel when they try their best to protect people they might never know, get the person responsible or lose the person they sweated to save.

I can only imagine what it feels like when you spend so much time on a case, piecing the puzzle together just to see the person walk, the evidence lost and you get the blame. I can only imagine how it must feel to feel like you are working yourself to death and nothing changes. Crime increases, the same people walk the streets, lack of staff, low pay and low morale.  I can only imagine trying to work together to fight a fire, knowing you have already lost people among the flames. I can only imagine how it must feel beating a man’s chest with all the stamina you have to get his heart beating again just to stop with the realization that it was all in vain.

We might not have faith in them but we must also remember that God gave them the calling and the faith to follow the call. A call that asks for self sacrifice, unselfishness, to care without knowing and that we don’t become a policeman/woman, a fire-fighter, a nurse, a teacher, a paramedic, a doctor, we are called to it. I know that some become these things because they need a job but for many God called them to that career. And even though I am also one of those people who get agitated with the lack of service, lack of education, just lack of motivation to give a good service, I still like to believe that there are many roses among the thorns and I pray that when I need them for something serious, God will send His rose to me.

The Single Mom's Club

Last night I went to see Tyler Perry's The Single Moms Club and I actually enjoyed it. I didn't expect it to be as funny as it was. The storyline is how five single moms get "thrown" together to organise a fundraiser for their children's school and they eventually become friends by agreeing that each mom will take a turn to babysit all of their kids while the other 4 have a break and go out together.

I like the way Tyler Perry created a movie that is not too serious but still makes you appreciate being a single Mom. 

There have been quite a lot of positivity and negativity around this movie but I liked the way Tyler Perry made you see all sides of being a single Mother. You saw some humour, ex husband issues, fear, sadness and all tiredness. As a single Mother, I enjoyed this being reflected back to me. Even though, my circumstances are different to the characters of the movie, I was still able to relate to them and understand exactly where they were coming from.

However, I was fascinated by the single Mom who become one by choice. Now that is a big decision. Honestly, I think I wouldn't have chosen it. This Mom thought she could manage it all, having a child and a successful career. Unfortunately, it is easier said than done.

It was also interesting how a Mother who has the domestic worker help her with kids becomes a single Mom through divorce and has no relationships with her children. She thought she was a Mother but really she wasn't. Her domestic worker replaced her.

Personally, for me, this movie reminded me that being a single Mother is not always an easy job and that single Moms, with all their emotions, are not alone. We do miss many special moments but sometimes we've had to sacrifice certain things for other things that our families need.

I did not become a single Mother by choice and not many do but honestly, if I knew I would be a single Mom, I probably wouldn't have had children. Don't get me wrong, I love my child and would never give her up for anything but trying to be a Single Mom and a Single person is not all that's it cracked to be.

With that said, I do wear my single Mom badge with pride and joy. The days that I am tired, she will brighten my day by saying something so funny we laugh together so hard. We are a team and because there is no "I" in team, I can sacrifice and work with a smile on my face for US.

God blessed me with single Motherhood for a reason and even though I know most of the "why", I still have a feeling that I have more "why" to learn. As single Moms we are successful but we succeed in many different things to others. God gives us the stamina to keep going, the smile to share, the tears to cry in secret and the grace to get us through.

I recommend all single Mom's to hunt down that babysitter, find a friend and take a night off to go and watch a movie that is light-hearted, funny but to the point.