Hazardous Recognition

This past Sunday was Father's Day and a friend of mine on a social media platform started the debate on whether single Mothers should also be recognised on Father's Day for having this parental role as well. Honestly, the remark did sting a bit but it got me questioning this and other things regarding days of recognition.

Personally, single Mothers can be recognised on Father's Day as single Fathers can be recognised on Mother's Day. You ask why? Let me enlighten you. Many single parents have children of the the opposite sex. What I mean is that a single Mom who has a son needs to tap into her masculine side to be able to talk about or if she is really adventurous try some skateboarding, video games, fort building and doing some extreme sports and a single Dad who has a daughter has to also tap into his feminine side enlightening himself about how to handle his little girl becoming a young lady, talk about boys without anger, know the difference between a nice wedge and an awesome heel. Where there are two parents, it is a bit easier to take on these tasks as Mom can often relate to daughter and Dad can often relate to son.

Don't misunderstand me. At no point am I saying that parenting is easy regardless of how many parents are involved but sometimes we all need to know that we are valued for trying to be parents. But is it a necessity?

Let's be honest, as a parent, true recognition comes when our child gives us a goofy smile for no reason, a sticky lollipop hug to say "I love you" and a cuddle in the bed on a cold night. I don't get hurt if I'm not recognised on a particular day because I am recognised as a parent in many other ways. 

So, some of you will be saying so why doesn't the single parent get a Uncle involved or a Aunt involved to help with the difficult "stuff" and yes we could but what if the parent doesn't have anyone they can trust or rely on? What happens if their child is not comfortable talking with someone else except their parent? Could it be said that the single parent is avoiding trying to handle the difficult "stuff"?

As a single Mom, I see the pain in my child's eye when others play with their Dads. She gets so excited too standing on the side lines but she knows she can't join in because it's not her Dad. I try to fill that gap as best I can but deep down, I can't and never will be able to. Uncles try their best to help but they have families of their own and let's be honest, nothing can replace the love of a Mom or Dad even if it is Mom trying to be Dad too. 

The questions I am starting to ask are: Are we taking days of recognition too seriously and getting too technical? Are we applying too much pressure on each other to make sure our recognition is "good enough"? Should we depend on days like this to give us a good reason to acknowledge the important people in our lives? Would we acknowledge them at all, if we didn't have these days of recognition? Are days of recognition becoming more hazardous?