Day 19: Unexpected Apology

My memory these days and for many days before is like a sieve. It rolls around my head until it finds its way through the draining holes disappearing into thin air, never to return.

Day 19 is remembering receiving an “unexpected apology” and for the life of me, I can’t think of ever receiving one. This fascinates and gives me a headache thinking about it because I wonder if someone has ever done anything to me which required an “unexpected apology”.

On the flip side, I remember giving someone an unexpected apology. Don’t ask me what it was for or why but I vaguely remember the person being quite surprised at me for apologising which made me realise that I have a bad habit of thinking that I am always right and I still have that bad habit. Shame on me!

What about you? Have you ever received one or given one?

Difficult recalling it, right? Or is it just me?

Apologising is a respectful habit to have because it shows others that you know when you have done wrong and have the courage and courtesy to realise it, embrace it and apologise for it.

Thinking about it, people today, in general, don’t like to say sorry. We feel so entitled that we don’t have to say it regardless of whether we know we should or if the other person actually deserves an apology.

If you can recall getting or giving an “unexpected apology”, please share it with me and others because this is how we learn more about ourselves and how we can change to be better.

When we look in the mirror, we want our reflection to like us just as much as what we see and how others see us.

So, in closing, to anyone I have offended, hurt, scarred without knowing it, please accept my humble apology. I never intend to hurt others and I never desire to.

Like Jesus says, Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do…..

Actions speak louder than words

Your actions speak louder than words. This is true to me as I sit in the middle of the night in the dark. Why don't people realise that sometimes the things they do (or even don't do) tell you more about how they feel about you more than the words that come out of their mouth.

Sometimes I wish people's eyes were staring back at them so they can see their actions and how these actions make others feel or think. Your actions can make a person feel unattractive, unloved, worthless or feel unimportant in your life.

I'm sure I do it too but I wish I wasn't like this because often my actions don't seem to match my emotion. Is it the same for you?

It seems the people we care about seem to do this more often than others; or maybe we just notice it more because of the bond we have with our loved ones. What we don't realise is that their (or our) actions hurt the ones we love.

Every action has a consequence and it seems, for me, at this present moment, sitting here, the consequence runs deep and the hurt is real. I wonder if the person acting a certain way actually realises how they are making the other person feel?

Who knows? Do you know how your actions affect others? Do you care?

Day 18: Grease and the Devil

Cars, gals and milkshakes fill the screen of one of my favourite movie. Grease premiered way before my time but I grew up watching it and loving it.

Sandy taught me that a woman can be smart, courageous, educated while still having her wild, spontaneous and mischievous side. I love this about her.

She allows you to enjoy and appreciate your love for learning, for knowledge and wisdom while embracing the side of you that wants to experience life, make mistakes and take those risks you have only thought about, until now.

Every time I hear my favourite tunes in this movie, I automatically start singing, swinging my hips and tapping my toes.

Grease is filled with things that make my heart race like good music, romance, and mischief and of course, cars. It teaches us that no matter how cool you think you are, you still have your emotional side and your inner child.

Grease is still the word…….

A frumpy shirt, flat shoes and straggly hair with a passion for writing finds this girl in a world of pressed blouses, stiletto heels and straightened hair. She is completely out of water in her new job and her new, famous boss thinks she is not serious about her career.

The Devil wears Prada is one my all-time rainy day favourites to watch especially when I feel like I am not good enough.

Andy just wants to write but takes this job because she needs one and she is hoping it will be a stepping stone to something more. However, she learns that in order for her to succeed, she has to “join them” as she can’t “beat them” becoming someone even she doesn’t recognise anymore. Eventually, she decides to make a tough decision.

Life lessons are throughout this movie which I have learnt. It has taught me that we should keep trying different things and allowing ourselves to learn and grow, even if it is negatively.

She changes who she is to please others and in the end, discovers it is not worth it I’ve learnt this and been reminded of it. Don’t change yourself to please others, change yourself for yourself and follow your passion and your dreams because your happiness shines happiness onto others.

The Devil wears Prada but the Angel gets her wings.

What are your favourite movies? How have they impacted you?

Upon reflection, I’ve learnt to follow my passion, achieve my dreams, and be myself while embracing all sides of my personality. 

 

Oh, and by the way, YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

Day 17: Light

Every day we have the chance to turn towards the sun instead of settle in the darkness. Day 17 blog has been a difficult one for me to write because I am not in the space to embrace light and for the life of me, could not think of a time where I chose to walk in the light instead of settling for darkness.

This actually breaks my heart because we should all be walking in light every day regardless of what is going on in our life. We have been blessed with LIFE! The ability to laugh, love, live and share it with others. No one, not even God, said that life on earth will be easy. Trials, some small, some huge, appear in life and often they seem like mountains that can’t be climbed over but God moves mountains for us so we can continue to walk in light, His light.

So, why are there times when we can’t bring ourselves to walk in light? What does light represent for you?

For me, light is the warmth of the sun on my face on a tough day. Light is the step in my walk when something has finally worked out for the best. Light is when the burdens weighing on my shoulders have been sorted out even if it’s for a short while. Light is what I feel when I laugh with my loved ones. Light is the lamp next to my bed that makes it possible to follow my passion of writing and reading.

Light is all around us, within us and created for us to enjoy. As I am typing this blog, the sun is gently setting behind the mountain, dusk beginning to fall for nightfall to fill the sky with stars but even in darkness, we can experience light. Light can be felt when we cuddle to our special person or pet in our life. Light is when our shoulders relax as we settle in our bed. Light is the slight breath during a good night’s sleep.

I might not be feeling the light right now but I’m glad that I know what light means for me and that I, like everyone, can return to walk in the light God has created for me. But now, I think I need to stare at the stars, twinkling with light and convince myself that tomorrow’s light will shine with goodness on my face and within my soul again because I. AM. ENOUGH.

Day 16: Family and Friends

I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people that I don’t even know where to start this post. I believe that everyone deserves to be loved and I try to make everyone I meet and/or know feel loved because when you feel genuine love, your being is filled with joy and your self-esteem rises.

My close friends are my family and my family are my close friends. My closest friend I have known for over 30 years. She is my friend but family. This friend has seen tears I don’t share with others, heard my views on life and love and is always here for me. Our friendship is one that is created in our hearts and no matter where we are in the world. Our friendship is just as strong as if we are sitting next to each other.

We weren’t always in touch for a few years but when we reconnected it was as if we never lost touch. And that’s the type of friendship I wish for all of you.

We always joke that when we are old, we will be together sitting in our rocking chairs on the porch, talking about the good old days. This mental image is comforting to me, humorous to me and important because this is the friend I need and appreciate.

A true friend becomes family because you allow them in to parts of your life not many know. Everyone needs to have at least one friend who is family to you. This friend is one who you can trust completely.

This friend of mine always has the right words to say to me when I don’t feel like I am enough or doing enough. She is always ruthlessly honest with me even when I don’t want to hear it but need to hear it.

Do you have a friend like this?

Trustworthy and has time for you?

If you do, when last did you tell this person that he/she is enough?

When last did you tell this person how important he/she is to you?

How you appreciate them being like family to you?

To my friend of 33 years, I love you, I appreciate you and you will always be family to me. Thank you for being the ear that listens, the hands that wipe my tears and the voice of reason.

To my friend of 33 years - YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

Day 15: Surrender

Hand over control, let God handle it all! Words we have all heard but have found it very difficult to do.

In a previous blog I wrote about hitting rock bottom and walking along it, being lost. This is the time, when we’ve tried to do it on our own, we finally realise we need to surrender. Surrender to the God’s power and let Him take over. Wouldn’t life be easier if we did this before we hit rock bottom or feel like there is nowhere out?

There have been many times where I have tried to sort it out myself but got nowhere slowly and had only one place left and that was in the hands of God. He is so great. He waits patiently, knowing that eventually we all return to Him.

I am still learning to surrender and will probably keep learning until I close my eyes one day but I rest in the knowledgeable peace that God is waiting for me always.

In today’s world, all around us we hear to take control of our own life and destiny but how often do things go wrong. Our life is not our own because life was given to us by God which means our life is His life. Our destiny is decided by the give of our life.

Yes, each person believes in different things or entities but we still believe in something. So whatever we believe in, shouldn’t we be surrendering to it?

For me, surrendering to God is difficult to human nature but a necessity. Surrendering means giving God control over your life and right now, it is comforting knowing that someone else can handle my life for me because I am definitely not getting right at the moment.

Surrender to your faith and let love, hope and light fill your being because….YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.