Unknown Waters

We all get scared when we make a life-changing decision because most of the time these decisions make us walk into “unknown waters”. No matter how prepared we are or think we are we’re still not prepared enough.

From this month, I am stepping into the unknown and it excites and terrifies me at the same time. My faith, strength and courage will be tested more than once. In my mind, I am prepared but the heart is yet to be taught and prepared.

The unknown made me think how a Captain must feel. Each time he stands behind the wheel, knowing the vessel inside-out and he floats out into familiar waters but even though the waters feel familiar, it is still unknown to the Captain. The ocean is never the same. The flow of the tides change, temperatures change, sea life changes and even the colour changes and no matter how the Captain is prepared, he must still get slightly anxious returning to the unknown, familiar waters. The waters he loves but respects its unstable behaviour. The Captain is prepared but not yet taught.

How many unknown, unlikely people did God prepare for His work to walk into “unknown waters”? Even Jesus walked into “unknown waters” when God told Him where to go and who to preach to. God prepares us even when we don’t realise it but He allows us to teach our heart to follow him into the “unknown”.

So, in the mid of the scary unknown what do I or we need to do? How do we change our fear of following God’s will into the unknown to the happiness of allowing God to work with us in the unknown?

We focus on our Shepard Jesus who walks alongside us. We pray to our King, God and we listen to our guide, The Holy Spirit. Because in this present, broken world filled with the scary unknown, it’s all we can do.

Even though, we feel alone in the dark, we never are. Many times, we create our own fear, imagining possible events in the unknown. But know this for sure, Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit are with us to teach our heart with our prepared mind.

God is our protection and our strength.

He always helps in times of trouble.

So we will not be afraid even if the earth shakes,

Or the mountains fall into the sea,

Even if the oceans roar and foam,

Or the mountains shake at the raging sea.

Ps.  46:1

PS: I walked into my “unknown waters” and I was intimidated which made me terrified but I won’t stop trying because only God knows whether He wants me there and I have to learn to trust Him because with God, anything is possible!

What If.....

I remember it, like it was yesterday. I can still clearly see it in my mind and feel the intensity in my chest. I loved starting my school day like this. Soft, brown shining eyes and a smile that sent shivers down my spine. His arms felt warm, like home as he naturally pulled me into his embrace. Mmm, he always smelled good. His smell travelled through my nostrils, lingering as my breath gently blew on his neck. We didn’t need permission from each other to touch. We were drawn to each other, every morning. There was no beginning and in our hearts no end.

Our eyes answered the question that couldn’t be spoken and our embraces confirmed the mutual feeling but our mouths couldn’t be convinced to start the conversation. We kept everyone guessing, yet not many asked as we didn’t even know the answer but yet, we did. We weren’t ashamed of showing our feelings. It felt so comfortable, so right. Like a clichéd movie, we didn’t want to risk the friendship and the intimate feeling we had toward each other. We didn’t want the feeling to end. Before we knew it, we had run out of time. We parted with tears in our eyes, a promise in our smile and a silent “what if?”

Now, standing in a semi-crowded house, my “what if” walks in and twenty years later, my breath shallows and vaguely disappears. I wonder if he has ever wondered, ever missed it or even remembers. His face is how I’ve pictured it over the years, more than once. He glances my way, recognising me he smiles that smile that still sends shivers down my spine. His shining soft brown eyes still matches his smile. 

The flutter in my stomach sinks as she walks up to him from behind, their rings shouting “we’re married” from across the room. An unknown love hurts just as much as a lost love. I’m frozen.

The evening flows with friends, food and fun. We haven’t neared each other. I can’t look at him. I just can’t do it. I wonder down the house’s narrow passage into the bedroom where my handbag lies. My breath shallows again as I feel him. The feeling from me hasn’t changed. I turn and look at him. He stares silently at me. Do I see what I think I see? What I want to see?

Forgetting why I’m there, I walk past him but he turns and closes the door in front of me. No escape. I find myself leaning against the closed door, looking up into those soft, brown eyes.

Please don’t come close, I beg with my eyes as he looks at me, ignoring my plea. I look away, scared at what he might see in mine. His closes the gap enough. I want to touch and embrace him like I used to. I want to feel at home. I want to inhale his scent. I want to feel my breath on his neck. He edges even closer, his heat warming my skin. I look up at him as he leans his head down, his familiar untouched mouth mere inches away from mine. Smiling, he whispers, “We haven’t changed, have we?” I suck in my breath as my heart is shouting…..kiss me, touch me and love me. My mind can’t be heard. “You’re married” I mumble back into his mouth.

Brushing his lips ever so lightly against mine, he sighs and replies “I know”. He steps back and I give him space to leave, unable to look into his eyes again. He closes the door behind him, leaving me standing there, leaning against the door. My heart is racing, breath still shallow and my whole body is tingling.

Breathless, I walk out the bedroom, my lips swelling from mere sense of sensuality as I watch his back disappear out the front door with her. It happened again.

What if...

What’s your “what if” story?

My Monday Mutter: Don't accessorise, humanise!

accessory

noun

noun: accessory; plural noun: accessories; noun: accessary; plural noun: accessaries

a thing which can be added to something else in order to make it more useful, versatile, or attractive.

********

Humans are interesting, irritating and difficult to understand sometimes. I know I have said this before but I really wish I could see what others are thinking and why they treat people the way they do. This week-end, once again, I was socialising and watching people's behaviour. Yip, I'm still that weirdo!

It really amazed me how someone can mistreat another in front of others. Why do people allow themselves to be treated as an accessory? Are they so desperate to be with someone that they will allow themselves to be treated so or are they blind to the other person's behaviour?


Personally, I don't get it. On my planet, when two people are together, whether it's a friendship or relationship, they should give each other equal attention. Listen to each other and respect each other. I mean, why keep them around if you don't care for them as much they care for you?

(Writing this.....I've just realised I might have behaved this way and might have just lost a friend because of this - Oh flip! - see we all learn from our mistakes!)

It reminded me that giving is more important than receiving and the more you give, the more you will receive. We all want to be noticed, admired and listened to but we can't expect it especially if the other person is truly self-centred and treats you as an accessory. Are you someone's "thing" to make them seem more "useful or attractive"?

Mid-blog, I also wondered what the definition of the word "accessory" is and so I googled it. After reading it, it made the person's behaviour seem a little bit clearer to me. I started thinking...maybe this person needs another person as an accessory because they don't have a good self image! So, they need someone else to make them look better! And the light bulb switches on in my little head!

Yes, add an accessory like a piece of jewellery, a handbag or a scarf to add a little sparkle to your step or some colour to your outfit but not a person.


I wish this person would stop treating others like a handbag, a glass of wine or a nice meal. In other words, only good enough when he/she is in the mood for the other person and/or needs them for something. I wish this person would feel better about himself/herself because deep down, I'm sure there is God's goodness in them.We all need to realise too, that the way we treat others is the way they will treat us too. Hmmm...lastly, I wonder if he/she realise he/she was created in God's perfect, loving, beautiful image.

In closing....... 

Be liked by others by the way you share your heart and soul....and your actions and words.

Don't be someones accessory, be someones partner!

 

My Jesus is gangster good

My Jesus is gangster good

He walked in sandals around any hood

My Jesus didn't need bling to be seen

He loved the dirty, clean and mean

My Jesus spoke with love and grace

He didn't use drugs and alcohol to get you to see his face

My Jesus didn't carry a gun or dagger

He walked tall with honest swagger

My Jesus sat and ate with anyone

He didn't need to know where you've been or what you've done

Why do you feel the need to join a gang to be "hood"?

Why do you want to shed blood to be "good"?

Why do you hurt and harm to be "seen"?
Why do you want colours to "look mean"?

If Jesus didn't need to be a real gangster to be "phat"

Why can't you change to be all "that"?

If Jesus didn't need to be a real gangster to be "the man"

Why can't you quit and let Him be your plan?

My Jesus is gangster good

Allow Him into your heart and hood.

 

 

The God Series

At some point in our life, we have been glued to the t.v. screen watching our favourite series. And oh, how we stress if we've missed an episode! We sit for at least an hour watching how people manipulate each other, love each other and we hate it when an episode ends on a such a cliffhanger that you are not sure how you are going to wait until next week for the conclusion. It sounds familiar, doesn't it?

But sit back and look around. Do you see what I see? You and I are in a series. We are in the most awesome, exciting, heart-wrenching series you can ever see. We are all in "The God Series", and you and I are playing major roles.

The God Series is the life we are living. God is our director, telling us what to do, where to go, how to feel and what to say and if we make a mistake..it's okay as He gives us many takes to keep trying to get better.

Yes, sure, we don't get the script beforehand but that is what makes it so exciting, every scene is new, unknown,intense. Every episode is a journey, an adventure.

The God Series has seasons of dance and laughter, seasons of love and hate, seasons of life and death and season for all occasions. In this series, everyone has a role to play. Everyone has a line, a scene, a motive. So, what's so unique of this series?

The uniqueness is there is only one person behind the scenes directing, writing, producing, editing and sharing it with the world. There are no pressures of lighting, cameras, microphones and groups of people wandering around aimlessly. God is our all in one film maker!

We don't have to act to get famous or rich. We don't have to study for hours trying to imagine how we should feel, what we should do or how to be. We were born with all these things in the God Series. The God Series is a great combination of script and reality. We were born famous in God's eyes, filled with His riches on earth and we walk the script He wrote before we knew it.

What more would you want in a t.v. series?!

In the end, we are left with the gift of looking back at how the God series played out and how important our role was. We shared weddings and funerals, births and adoptions, love and laughter, wrinkles and grey hairs. We shared real, true life. And some of the advantages of this series are we don't need to pay a t.v. license to watch it, we don't need to have cable t.v. to join in with others and we don't need to sit for hours catching up.

All we need is to embrace the episode God created for us, enjoy the season He is busy working in and love the fact that we are in the most important series we will ever know....The God Series.

 

My Judging Jabber

When did we become so judgemental? When did we start thinking freedom of speech meant the freedom to judge others?

In today's world, it seems we spend our time trying to be better than others by bringing them down and saying whatever we want whenever we want without thinking about how it might affect others beforehand. Are we so insecure as individuals that we feel the need to better our egos by destroying another person's ego?

Would God want us to do this? When He gave us free will, is this what He expects from us? I don't think so.

God says we should treat our neighbour as we wish to be treated and to love our family as well as our enemies. This means that we don't necessarily have to like the person but we do have to express Godly love towards them whether we want to or not. God encourages us to respect each other regardless of sins, personality, habits, etc.

No one on earth as the right to judge. Yes, we are allowed an opinion but the question is,  do we ask the person if they want our opinion and then respond accordingly or do we not even bother having manners to ask, and just blurt whatever we wish.

The only person who has the right to judge is God and even then, our opinion doesn't matter because God knows and sees all and when He judges He does knowing the WHOLE person and not snippets like we do.

When are we going to start seeing a person's heart before seeing the rest of the person?
It is interesting how we can forget the judgements we had once we get to really know the person behind them. If only, we could see the person before seeing the judgements.

I know it's not easy but don't stop trying. 

Don't judge other people, or you will be judged. 

You will be judged in the same way that you judge others,

and the amount you give to others will be given to you. 

Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend's eye, 

but you don't notice the big piece of wood in your own eye?

Matthew 7: 1-3