Tuesday 28 May 2013

Inspiration......

Every now and then, I ask this question on my social media sites to see what responses I get but it seems either not many people know and/or they are just tired of seeing that question.

For me, it's music, movies and books.

I love the way music is often connected to memories or personal experiences we've had and how the same emotions re-emerge every time we hear it. It causes us to have flashbacks of things gone by. Music inspires me by the beat, the dance moves and the lyrics. Some songs create a beat to make you move your feet which in turn gets you to feel better about yourself, life. Others have great dance moves which inspire me and others to learn to dance, maybe feel sexy and the lyrics sometimes gets you to reflect on life, yourself, family, friends or just get in touch with "you".

Books creates the opportunity to get inspired. Sometimes without you even knowing it. The cover might make you pick it up but the story is what affects you. They allow you to walk and live in someone elses' shoes, travel in their world, experience their emotions. I get inspired because it allows me to escape, see things from another viewpoint, encourage "me" time and also gives me the opportunity to learn more about myself and others. Fictional characters help me to connect to them and inspires me to reflect on me, especially if what the character is going through is similar or the same of my experiences, whether it be past and/or present.

Even though we might have read the book beforehand, movies make the books come alive. The music, the people, the life lessons and emotions. Movies inspire me as it allows me to see the story and to reflect on it visually. Special features on a DVD gives me insight into the heads of the people behind the scenes especially the scenes we come to love and don't forget. I listen when a director explains a scene and/or the background as more than once it is different to what I envisioned the movie to mean. Movies allow me to see the message and/or moral clearer, which I love.

I get inspired when a song, a book and even a movie teaches me something about life, others and/or myself. I get inspired when it makes me, afterwards, sit in stillness, thinking about what I've read, heard and/or seen.

These medias can truly be life-changing!

So, what inspires you? Is the beat, the love scene or the classic words of an writer?

Thursday 23 May 2013

Help me, help you!

Hi Everyone

Please answer my question as I am doing research for my future - thank you and God Bless

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Monday 20 May 2013

A view from the other side

I have been a widow for over 8 years now and I still get the look. You know the one...."Shame, I feel sorry for you." The look filled with pity. It's not that I don't want people to care, it's just I often wonder when does it stop and does it ever stop?

I can only react with a little chuckle as I don't really know how to react to that look. Even after all this time, I still don't know what to say as I feel like an "old widow". I'm old in that it has been 8 years but I'm young in age which I think is the shock factor for many.

However, I don't see being a widow as a pitiful thing. Don't get me wrong...of course, I loved my husband and that's just the point. I loved and cherished him.

I feel honored that God blessed me with him and the time we had. Sure, I am sad that we didn't get old together and that he didn't get to see his child grow up but I don't feel that having lost him put a damper on my life.

It actually made me re-look at my life and gave me the opportunity to start again. Not sure if I am getting it right second time round but I won't stop trying.

Being a widow is a curse and a blessing. It's a curse as the one person you count on is no longer there and you don't have someone to bounce things off of when life gets tough or you need an honest response. It is a blessing because it reminds you of how short life really is, how lucky you were to meet that person and how you can live your life exactly how you want it to be. It also tells you that you have the ability to truly love someone until "death do you part".

Being a widow or widower can be lonely sometimes but this is when we need to nurture and grow our family relationships and friendships, a time to re-connect and time to also learn how to be on our own and what makes us happy.


In our life, we acquire many labels like wife, mother, widow etc, but it's what we do with them that makes a difference. These labels helps us identify with people on different levels but they don't control how we live our life necessarily.

To all my fellow widows and widowers - Wear your label proudly, smile with sincerity and chuckle when you get the look!



Paranoid or Safety Conscious?

Sitting back and looking at society, I find myself wondering if we, as a society are becoming paranoid or conscious of safety.

We have put alarm systems, burglar bars, high walls, etc in and onto our houses with the hope and confidence that our family and house will not be corrupted by others. Is this us being safety conscious or becoming paranoid as we worry about the fact of getting murdered in our sleep.

I get the sense of paranoia from others when out in public, regardless of time and day. People today walk around on edge all the time. Experts say go for a walk for exercise but also to relax - REALLY?

They also say take some "me" time and enjoy a coffee by yourself. Those of you who have done this, do you honestly relax completely and ease into the booth or chair, grab your book and get lost in the words as you have a coffee OR do you hold your bag close to your side or body making sure no one can get it. You forgot your book so you bought a magazine which you quickly page through in between checking out each person that walks past and/or enters the coffee shop, and before you know it, your coffee is finished and your intention of spending an hour in quiet time ends up only being 20 minutes as you want to rush home to feel completely relaxed and safe behind your high walls, burglar bars, watch dogs etc. 

Take a look at the people around you next time you are going to the shops. They are clutching their handbags, constantly looking around and look at everyone that passes like they are a possible criminal.

Gone are the days when you could walk in the road, enjoying the sunshine, laughing at the children playing in the streets. Now, we rush around to get done, scared to walk alone and even getting into a car can create tension in people.

People used to love staying alone at home, opening doors and windows wide, letting in the sun and the sounds of birds or enjoying the evening and star gazing. Now, as soon as dark settles in, windows are shut, curtains closed, doors locked and ease into bed, praying that God blesses us with a safe and restful sleep.

Should we blame each other for being paranoid and/or conscious of safety? Maybe not, especially as things are in South Africa and the world. Especially since a human life is not as important and/ or need to be considered as much as it was in the past.

So.......do feel paranoid or safety conscious in your life? Are you able to walk down the street with a hop in your step and not worry about what could jump out at you from behind the next tree or the corner?


Tuesday 14 May 2013

Another Lonely Boy in the World

On the 8th May 2013, I took my child to see Justin Bieber. I have to say that I was impressed. As a 19 year old, he does know how to entertain but watching him reminded me of watching his interview with Oprah. I remember thinking what loneliness I see in his eyes even though he is smiling.

People often say how can he be lonely. He is rich, famous and gets whatever he wants but do you remember what you were doing at 19? I had a boyfriend, going out, having fun, being amongst people who liked me for me. Studying, hanging out in the cafeteria, talking nonsense with lecturers, figuring out who I want to be when I grow up. And what is JB doing? Spending how many months travelling, performing, practicing, promoting........when does he get to be 19?

The reason for writing this blog is because I am worried. I worry that he will one day as an adult, sit in the mansion on the hill, reflecting and wishing he had the chance to be a normal 19 year old. Maybe he doesn't see it the way I see it.

As a Mom, I wonder if he does feel lonely and how he deals with it....maybe acting out is his way of dealing with it. It must be quite lonely sometimes trying to figure out who you can trust, genuinely talk to. Yes, he might have family and his management team but sometimes you just need someone outside the inner circle, someone who can be objective.

To me, I see JB looking like a boy but acting like a man. Yes, I know many of you would say, well, he chose the life, it's his dream come true and I understand that and think it is great. But I wonder how he feels when the media tells the world how he misbehaved somewhere and in his eyes, he is just being 19.

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Monday 6 May 2013

A Writer in Limbo

One of my ultimate goals is to write a story and  get it published. Before, you stop reading, thinking not another one....give me a chance.

Of course, there are so many of us, desperate to see our name in print but that's not the only reason I want to write. I love getting the image of writing a story that might be able to help someone else reflect or give them advice on an issue that they have been facing. You know, give them an Oprah "ah-ha" moment. I would love to see someone sitting in their "sunny" chair reading my paperback with a smile on their face and a good feeling in their soul.

Authors keep saying to future writers, keep writing, but do you know how hard it is to write when you work full day, a mom at night and then you start writing and your story goes to a certain point and for the life of you, you can't figure out where it needs to go next.

Yes, this might sound like an excuse not to write, but what is a writer who practically starts with writer's block. A writer who sees the end result in their mind but just can't get the flow going before that point.

I am a writer in limbo..........searching for that story that grips me and makes me write til my fingers cramp and the page is smudged with dirt.


What morals would you like find out in an novel? What makes you spend hours in your "sunny" chair with a paperback and a smile on your face?

I would love to know.......while I float in limbo.