A view from the other side

I have been a widow for over 8 years now and I still get the look. You know the one...."Shame, I feel sorry for you." The look filled with pity. It's not that I don't want people to care, it's just I often wonder when does it stop and does it ever stop?

I can only react with a little chuckle as I don't really know how to react to that look. Even after all this time, I still don't know what to say as I feel like an "old widow". I'm old in that it has been 8 years but I'm young in age which I think is the shock factor for many.

However, I don't see being a widow as a pitiful thing. Don't get me wrong...of course, I loved my husband and that's just the point. I loved and cherished him.

I feel honored that God blessed me with him and the time we had. Sure, I am sad that we didn't get old together and that he didn't get to see his child grow up but I don't feel that having lost him put a damper on my life.

It actually made me re-look at my life and gave me the opportunity to start again. Not sure if I am getting it right second time round but I won't stop trying.

Being a widow is a curse and a blessing. It's a curse as the one person you count on is no longer there and you don't have someone to bounce things off of when life gets tough or you need an honest response. It is a blessing because it reminds you of how short life really is, how lucky you were to meet that person and how you can live your life exactly how you want it to be. It also tells you that you have the ability to truly love someone until "death do you part".

Being a widow or widower can be lonely sometimes but this is when we need to nurture and grow our family relationships and friendships, a time to re-connect and time to also learn how to be on our own and what makes us happy.


In our life, we acquire many labels like wife, mother, widow etc, but it's what we do with them that makes a difference. These labels helps us identify with people on different levels but they don't control how we live our life necessarily.

To all my fellow widows and widowers - Wear your label proudly, smile with sincerity and chuckle when you get the look!