Failing Faith

FAILURE

 

Failure is a part of life. Failure is how we learn through trial and error. Without failure, we can't succeed. But what about failing in faith? I don't mean failing in faith through sin but failing in faith. Failing in the things we can't see but feel.

FAITH

 

Faith is the ability to believe in the things we can't see. Faith is what makes us keep believing in God. We can read about Him, speak to Him but we don't always see Him but we know that He is always there. If we know all this and feel so strongly, deeply, rooted in our faith, how can we fail in faith?

MY FAILING FAITH

 

We fail by losing our way, distancing ourselves and stop studying God's word. Many times, we find ourselves listening to the devil more than God's voice. The devil's voice which convinces us that things won't get better, that sin is fun, that "trying" is useless and being blessed is not as good as it sounds. Listening to the wrong voice lays the path to fail in our personal faith. God doesn't leave us, we leave God.

Personally, my faith is failing through my human nature, being lazy and feeling lost. I can feel cracks starting to form in my faith foundation and that bothers me. Not going to church and reading my Bible has also been part of my faith dwindling. My prayers have become minimized to next to nothing. And I know exactly what you want to say - WHY?  That's a good question!

Life changed, decisions I made didn't turn out the way I wanted and so I allowed the devil's darkness to circle around me, causing me to lose my light from God, my faith of foundation to dwindle and losing my voice to turn to the one voice that never fails. When my faith fails, everything else gets put aside, especially the gifts God has blessed me with, like my passion for writing, my love for reading and the desire to share it with others.

FROM FAILING TO FINDING FAITH

 

Failing faith is like seeing grey, rain clouds floating in the sky but never sharing the gift of rain drops. So, how do we turn our "failing faith" to "finding faith"?

We do this by going back to basics, where it all began. For me, it's a quiet room, alone, with my own thoughts and talking it out with God, letting Him know that I am failing and asking Him to teach me so I can learn. Thanking Him for the things I have, whether I "really" realise it or not at the moment. When your faith fails, you fail with the people around you too. Every action has a consequence!

Failing faith is personal and often difficult to explain or share with others because we all have different relationships with God and view our faith differently.

YOUR FAITH

 

How is your faith looking?

Are you where I am or are you flying with faith, fully in sync with God?

Nothing to Give

 

Their eyes widened as I told them that I had nothing prepared. I told them that I had nothing to give them, no profound word to share. But God had prepared me; I just didn’t know it until I started talking.

The firefighters who I share a verse and a prayer with couldn’t believe that I arrived unprepared. I’m sure they were thinking how can she come unprepared to help us? Didn’t Jesus tell us to prepare for rain even if it doesn’t look like its coming?

Ignoring their surprise, I told them about my cup. I had nothing to give them because my cup is empty. The stresses and worries of life have dried my cup out, leaving it dry like a desert.

I’m going to ask you now….what does your cup look like? Is it empty like mine? Maybe it’s half full or half empty? Or, it’s overflowing, and if it’s overflowing, is it overflowing with blessings or burdens?

As I told them about my cup, I realised that I have a choice…to either leave it empty or find how I can fill it up again.  I have the faith to ask God to take my cup and fill it with his blessings.

Having no scripture verse to share with them, I encouraged them to read their favourite Bible verse and think about how it relates to their cup.

What are you going to do about your cup?

Leave it or ask God?

God is our living water that, with faith and belief, will fill our cup with blessings and even make it overflow it with His grace and love but we have to be willing to give Him our cup and allow Him to fill it His way.

Will you allow God to pour His living water into your cup?

Ask God to fill it and overflow it with all the gifts He can give.

But for me and my cup, I place it at God’s feet, asking for the guidance I need, for His water I thirst and the grace He bestows.

“I tell you the truth, whoever gives you a drink of water because you belong to the Christ will truly get his reward”. Mark 9:41

 

Day 19: Unexpected Apology

My memory these days and for many days before is like a sieve. It rolls around my head until it finds its way through the draining holes disappearing into thin air, never to return.

Day 19 is remembering receiving an “unexpected apology” and for the life of me, I can’t think of ever receiving one. This fascinates and gives me a headache thinking about it because I wonder if someone has ever done anything to me which required an “unexpected apology”.

On the flip side, I remember giving someone an unexpected apology. Don’t ask me what it was for or why but I vaguely remember the person being quite surprised at me for apologising which made me realise that I have a bad habit of thinking that I am always right and I still have that bad habit. Shame on me!

What about you? Have you ever received one or given one?

Difficult recalling it, right? Or is it just me?

Apologising is a respectful habit to have because it shows others that you know when you have done wrong and have the courage and courtesy to realise it, embrace it and apologise for it.

Thinking about it, people today, in general, don’t like to say sorry. We feel so entitled that we don’t have to say it regardless of whether we know we should or if the other person actually deserves an apology.

If you can recall getting or giving an “unexpected apology”, please share it with me and others because this is how we learn more about ourselves and how we can change to be better.

When we look in the mirror, we want our reflection to like us just as much as what we see and how others see us.

So, in closing, to anyone I have offended, hurt, scarred without knowing it, please accept my humble apology. I never intend to hurt others and I never desire to.

Like Jesus says, Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do…..

Actions speak louder than words

Your actions speak louder than words. This is true to me as I sit in the middle of the night in the dark. Why don't people realise that sometimes the things they do (or even don't do) tell you more about how they feel about you more than the words that come out of their mouth.

Sometimes I wish people's eyes were staring back at them so they can see their actions and how these actions make others feel or think. Your actions can make a person feel unattractive, unloved, worthless or feel unimportant in your life.

I'm sure I do it too but I wish I wasn't like this because often my actions don't seem to match my emotion. Is it the same for you?

It seems the people we care about seem to do this more often than others; or maybe we just notice it more because of the bond we have with our loved ones. What we don't realise is that their (or our) actions hurt the ones we love.

Every action has a consequence and it seems, for me, at this present moment, sitting here, the consequence runs deep and the hurt is real. I wonder if the person acting a certain way actually realises how they are making the other person feel?

Who knows? Do you know how your actions affect others? Do you care?

Day 18: Grease and the Devil

Cars, gals and milkshakes fill the screen of one of my favourite movie. Grease premiered way before my time but I grew up watching it and loving it.

Sandy taught me that a woman can be smart, courageous, educated while still having her wild, spontaneous and mischievous side. I love this about her.

She allows you to enjoy and appreciate your love for learning, for knowledge and wisdom while embracing the side of you that wants to experience life, make mistakes and take those risks you have only thought about, until now.

Every time I hear my favourite tunes in this movie, I automatically start singing, swinging my hips and tapping my toes.

Grease is filled with things that make my heart race like good music, romance, and mischief and of course, cars. It teaches us that no matter how cool you think you are, you still have your emotional side and your inner child.

Grease is still the word…….

A frumpy shirt, flat shoes and straggly hair with a passion for writing finds this girl in a world of pressed blouses, stiletto heels and straightened hair. She is completely out of water in her new job and her new, famous boss thinks she is not serious about her career.

The Devil wears Prada is one my all-time rainy day favourites to watch especially when I feel like I am not good enough.

Andy just wants to write but takes this job because she needs one and she is hoping it will be a stepping stone to something more. However, she learns that in order for her to succeed, she has to “join them” as she can’t “beat them” becoming someone even she doesn’t recognise anymore. Eventually, she decides to make a tough decision.

Life lessons are throughout this movie which I have learnt. It has taught me that we should keep trying different things and allowing ourselves to learn and grow, even if it is negatively.

She changes who she is to please others and in the end, discovers it is not worth it I’ve learnt this and been reminded of it. Don’t change yourself to please others, change yourself for yourself and follow your passion and your dreams because your happiness shines happiness onto others.

The Devil wears Prada but the Angel gets her wings.

What are your favourite movies? How have they impacted you?

Upon reflection, I’ve learnt to follow my passion, achieve my dreams, and be myself while embracing all sides of my personality. 

 

Oh, and by the way, YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.

Day 17: Light

Every day we have the chance to turn towards the sun instead of settle in the darkness. Day 17 blog has been a difficult one for me to write because I am not in the space to embrace light and for the life of me, could not think of a time where I chose to walk in the light instead of settling for darkness.

This actually breaks my heart because we should all be walking in light every day regardless of what is going on in our life. We have been blessed with LIFE! The ability to laugh, love, live and share it with others. No one, not even God, said that life on earth will be easy. Trials, some small, some huge, appear in life and often they seem like mountains that can’t be climbed over but God moves mountains for us so we can continue to walk in light, His light.

So, why are there times when we can’t bring ourselves to walk in light? What does light represent for you?

For me, light is the warmth of the sun on my face on a tough day. Light is the step in my walk when something has finally worked out for the best. Light is when the burdens weighing on my shoulders have been sorted out even if it’s for a short while. Light is what I feel when I laugh with my loved ones. Light is the lamp next to my bed that makes it possible to follow my passion of writing and reading.

Light is all around us, within us and created for us to enjoy. As I am typing this blog, the sun is gently setting behind the mountain, dusk beginning to fall for nightfall to fill the sky with stars but even in darkness, we can experience light. Light can be felt when we cuddle to our special person or pet in our life. Light is when our shoulders relax as we settle in our bed. Light is the slight breath during a good night’s sleep.

I might not be feeling the light right now but I’m glad that I know what light means for me and that I, like everyone, can return to walk in the light God has created for me. But now, I think I need to stare at the stars, twinkling with light and convince myself that tomorrow’s light will shine with goodness on my face and within my soul again because I. AM. ENOUGH.

Day 16: Family and Friends

I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many wonderful people that I don’t even know where to start this post. I believe that everyone deserves to be loved and I try to make everyone I meet and/or know feel loved because when you feel genuine love, your being is filled with joy and your self-esteem rises.

My close friends are my family and my family are my close friends. My closest friend I have known for over 30 years. She is my friend but family. This friend has seen tears I don’t share with others, heard my views on life and love and is always here for me. Our friendship is one that is created in our hearts and no matter where we are in the world. Our friendship is just as strong as if we are sitting next to each other.

We weren’t always in touch for a few years but when we reconnected it was as if we never lost touch. And that’s the type of friendship I wish for all of you.

We always joke that when we are old, we will be together sitting in our rocking chairs on the porch, talking about the good old days. This mental image is comforting to me, humorous to me and important because this is the friend I need and appreciate.

A true friend becomes family because you allow them in to parts of your life not many know. Everyone needs to have at least one friend who is family to you. This friend is one who you can trust completely.

This friend of mine always has the right words to say to me when I don’t feel like I am enough or doing enough. She is always ruthlessly honest with me even when I don’t want to hear it but need to hear it.

Do you have a friend like this?

Trustworthy and has time for you?

If you do, when last did you tell this person that he/she is enough?

When last did you tell this person how important he/she is to you?

How you appreciate them being like family to you?

To my friend of 33 years, I love you, I appreciate you and you will always be family to me. Thank you for being the ear that listens, the hands that wipe my tears and the voice of reason.

To my friend of 33 years - YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.