Day 12: Rock Bottom

For many, rock bottom is when the bank is empty, the house is gone, the car is gone and all hope has disappeared. For me, rock bottom was when my happiness was sucked out of me from other people. It’s when the things that made me smile, made me cry and I faced each day with survival being my goal.

The first time I hit rock bottom was when I decided to change jobs after seventeen years. I didn’t like my office anymore, I didn’t like the work I was doing and didn’t like the attitude and feeling it created in me. My spirit was lost and dying.

So, I decided to take the leap and accept the offer that was given to me at my current job. God has a funny sense of humour sometimes. I changed to get out of my seventeen rut only to recently discover that I’m still at rock bottom and just walking on a path.

I started the new job with quiet excitement, expectation and hope that I might have found my new home. Unfortunately, as I write this post, things haven’t worked out as well as I thought it would. The sad fact is that I have met amazing, funny and interesting people but one person has taken the spirit out of me again. This person has done it to others too but they, unlike me, can fake happiness better than me.

I am also to blame. I have made big mistakes and tried to learn from them but when someone has made a decision about you before anything else; it’s difficult to change their minds especially when their heart has matched their mind already. I thought my heart was in it but I don’t think it is as much as I wanted it to.

In trying to change, I have started my writing and coaching business, my true passion. It won’t be easy finding work but I’m not going to give up because God gave me this talent to fill me with joy and use it to help others to serve Him.

Rock bottom is a lonely place where the bank account is still empty but I still manage to keep a roof over my family’s head, food on the table and love in the air. Rock bottom is temporary. I know that God and my loved ones have my back.

Everything happens for God’s reason and I won’t stop trying because… I. AM. ENOUGH.

What does your rock bottom look like? Have you risen to the top after being at the bottom?

Never, ever forget….YOU. ARE. ENOUGH.