Lying in my bed awake, I thought I would be
ready for the call but I wasn’t. I knew the call was coming. I just didn’t know
when it will happen until that night. I had just left the hospital and was
trying to relax my pregnant body for another night when the sound of the phone
made my heart stop mid-beat.
The voice on the other end told me that my
husband had passed away. Silence filled the air in the car as my brother-in-law
drove while my father came with. I had all the support I needed but I still
felt like the loneliest woman in the world. As soon as that phone call
happened, my life changed.
In a matter of a few minutes, I become a
young widow and a single mother. It’s times like this when you realise that
your life can actually change in a matter of seconds and minutes.
It was less than 18 months before that I
become a wife and then I become a widow. After being at the hospital and seeing
my husband for the last time, I went home to a house full of people who loved
me and who didn’t want me to be alone. No matter who was there, I was still
alone in my mind, body and soul.
My mind was filled with questions, my body
was tired and weary, and my soul was dry. No one could understand how I was
feeling and what I was going through even when they tried.
Through months and years, I had to depend
on my faith, allowing God to give me what I need to grief while raising a child
and working. My faith hit highs and lows but in the end, as I sit and write
this blog, 13 years later, I know that I am enough for my daughter and I. It
hasn’t been easy and it has been lonely but now, I smile through my struggles
and triumphs because I know that God has got my back and no matter what
mistakes I make, He knows what I need and when I need it.
No matter what news whether good or bad
changes your life, just knows that God is with you, holds you and believes that….YOU.
ARE. ENOUGH.
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