Monday, 12 November 2018

Day 8 - 11: Lost Time




I started the “You are Enough 30 day” blog challenge and I now find myself having not much to say in the past four days. So, in the hopes that I find my rhythm again, I decided to post snippets of the last four days. The snippets are the beginnings of the posts intended for the past four days which I found myself unable to complete.

Sometimes we get to a point in our life where we are unable or fear to really look at ourselves in the mirror, really look at the reflection and think about the past, present and future.

The topics from the past four days, for me, weren’t easy ones and I couldn’t really grasp memories to reflect on. So, to show you, that reflection isn’t always easy, here are the snippets I managed to type…

Day 8: Unanswered prayer
Sometimes no answer is the best answer. However, most times, when we don’t get an answer, we don’t like it, especially when we want one from God. We often forget that God knows best even when we don’t get the answer we want. God always gives us the answers we need.

I am a writer and every writer’s dream (I’m sure) is to see their book on a shelf or in a reader’s hand. This is my dream too. This is why I keep writing and helping others to keep writing so we can all achieve our goal.

Rejection is a part of being a writer but it’s never easy to accept. I have submitted a novel for publishing with hope but I was rejected.

Day 9: The end
Relationships are not easy and can end in a split second by a single word or action.

Day 10: Dark Depression
It feels like sitting in a dark room even when the sun is shining through the windows. You can hear your heart beat like it’s meant to be but it feels like it is silent. Your mind is filled with wonderings but still feels empty. Your body moves because it must not because you want it to.

Your bed is your “happy” place and your duvet is “your sun” which keeps you warm and hidden. The sound of people and life gives you anxiety. You just want to be alone.

This is how I felt when I was depressed. Depression is when your spirit is low, your soul is empty and your body feels so tired and heavy.

Day 11: Single but not forever
I stayed single until recently because I wanted to meet someone “out the blue”. I believe if it’s meant to be it will happen. However, I didn’t go out much so I didn’t really create an environment for anything happen anyway. Being single had great moments like being able to do what I want when I want, be just me and do all the things we often don’t allow ourselves to do when we are in a relationship. But it wasn’t always rainbows and unicorns. Often I would find myself feeling lonely, wishing I had a “partner in crime” to do things together or come home to a smile and a kiss. I met my boyfriend in an unlikely place and of course, I didn’t take note of him at first but now, I come home to a smile and a kiss but sometimes I still need my “single” space just to have “me” time and luckily for me, he gets me.
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So, in closing, it’s been a tough time for me and still is but I have managed to smile through the struggles, pray through the pain (mostly) and move forward with faith because… like you…..I. AM. ENOUGH.

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