Shakespearean Flair!

Last night I attended my child's school's Shakespeare Festival. I am sure I speak for everyone who attended that we were absolutely flabbergasted. We had no idea what to expect and were we surprised!

It was a pure evening of childlike innocence yet with a flair of maturity and Shakespearean flair.

The festival started with a historical Maypole dance. As a parent, I loved it as I have heard of Maypole dancing but have never seen it actually done. It was lovely to see Grade 2 girls dressed like girls with pretty ribbons in their hair, weaving in and out, creating a twist of patterned colour. They weaved ribbons while skipping in between each other and showed their talents by unweaving it again still skipping in between friends. It took you back to that time and you could actually envision young girls laughing, skipping on fresh green grass in the sun.

After that lovely beginning, we were further enthralled by recitation of sonnets by Shakespeare. What surprised us was that from Grade 1 to Grade 4 children were standing confidently on a stage in front of a room full of adults, reciting these sonnets without fear, perfect pronunciation and smiles on their faces. I have no doubt that more than half of the audience did not know any of these sonnets and where surprised yet very proud that their children could stand in front of people and recite a sonnet without hesitation.

It also made us, parents realise that the new Ambleside curriculum is actually teaching our children more than just skills. It is inviting them into a world of culture, arts, knowledge and helping them realise that there is more to the world than hip hop, cellphones, movies and television.

Before getting to the main event of "Twelfth Night", we had an display of sword fighting. It showed and informed us of how sword fighting in the Elizabethian era was not about hurting people but proving your strength, courage and of course who was the better "person" as it were. It was quite lighthearted to see young men  fight for valour and honor and not just for the sake of violence.

Then "Twelfth Night" was upon us. The Grade 5 to 7 students put on a near perfect, eloquent show of a play known by many. It was wonderful to see young people able to act and display Shakespeare in its traditional form. I have to admit, it was quite nice seeing Shakespeare as it should be and not modernised. These young ladies and men performed with confidence and even though, I am sure  they got weary at some points, they never showed it. There were slight mistakes but they carried on with maturity and without making it too noticeable. I commend them on performing like professions and taking their job so seriously.

In closing, we had a very proud principal close to tears but with a big smile on his face. It is great to see teachers and a principal watch their students as if they were their own children. It gives me great pleasure to see teachers who are so committed, happy and willing to sacrifice for the sake of others.


So, as the great Mr. William Shakespeare asks, "To be or not to be is the question?"

And we reply, "To be it will be because God has made it so."

Achieving, reflections, 2013!!!!

Every year we find ourselves reflecting on it and most times we think of the things we wanted to achieve but didn't. It is rare that we ever reflect on our achievements.

Looking back on my year so far, I am amazed at how much I was able to accomplish in less than a year. I  got my driver's license (finally!!), completed my BA in Counseling, started a writing course (so exciting!) and did the "adult stuff" such as sorted myself financially and did my Will.

I do however, always keep in mind that I am not alone in this. God holds my hand, guides my feet and fills my head and heart with what I need to have achieved these goals and what I will achieve in the future. 

Of course, I didn't accomplish everything I set out to do but honestly, I personally think I have had a busy and great year so far.

It is interesting how much we can do if we commit ourselves to doing it, forcing ourselves to step out of our comfort zone and just try. By doing something small every day towards a goal and/or a bucket list can help you actually achieve it in the end and sometimes without you even realizing it.

So, what have you accomplished so far this year? Even accomplishing one small goal still makes you accomplished. Remember what is an accomplishment for one might not be the same for you but it does not diminish the fact that you have achieved it and/or working towards it.

We are often made to believe that we are only accomplished once we have the mansion on the hill, the expensive car or the big bucks in the bank but this is not true. Achieving something towards your inner happiness, your outlook on life and your spiritual beliefs can be much more important towards being accomplished.

So, I ask you again, what have you achieved? What are going to achieve?

And finally......WELL DONE!
 

Sacred, special......what's that?

A good number of years ago certain things were not spoken of openly in society. Things like sex, puberty, drugs, etc. Then people started saying that we need to be more open with our children, explain things to them. Then we starting having "the talk", generally telling our teens how their body will change, sex, relationships and how these were big decisions to make.

Back then, the children were young, innocent and willing to gain knowledge, not for use but just for knowledge gain sake.

Now, we have become so open that there really is nothing sacred, special, secret anymore. Sex in a relationship, no matter what the age, has become seen as "normal". I'm even wondering if some people, also young people, think sex forms part of the foundation of forming a long term relationship. It seems sometimes that a relationship without sex is not viewed as a "real" relationship.

It is no longer kept for marriage, love or even that someone special. I think our idea of love has become distorted too. It is quite sad to think something that can experienced wonderfully can be so "commercialized" (not sure if right word but giving it a go). How or when do people start realising that they actually like the person they with and not just physically attracted to them, especially if sex was the beginning basis of the relationship.

I think also the thought pattern is also that sex is not such a big deal especially when contraception is all around, meds easily available when things go wrong. I think many people do believe that there are "quick fixes" for "little" mishaps. Not many take the emotional scars left behind into account. Sex is fun.....right?!

Marriage, too, has just become something to do, just the next step in a long term relationship. Do people still envision actually getting old with their spouse, getting wrinkles and grey as a team? I think to many, marriage is the next step when you get to a certain point in the relationship. I think the thought is "Well, we might as well as we have been together for so long we are practically married". The sacredness and specialness of these vows have also become distorted especially since divorce is so easy to obtain. I know they say "change is as  good as a holiday" but does that include special unions such as marriage.

When did society stop taking these life changing decisions seriously?

We, as a society, are draining the innocence out of our children and replacing it with adult knowledge before they even become adults.

Knowledge is power but how much and by what age?

What is going on?

Recently, I have noticed that there have been quite a few deaths of young famous people aged in their twenties and early thirties. What is going on?

I get an image of deep, dark pit where these people are standing at the bottom, some mumbling to themselves, others silently crying and still others screaming with their arms stretch outed begging for the happy people outside, all around them to help them, counsel them, reach them.

It makes me wonder if fame and fortune truly brings happiness or early death or the thought of suicide. It seems many of the young stars suffer from depression as a result of loneliness, drugs, alcohol, etc. Where are their families? Where is the help for them? Is the industry so polluted that even celebs can't even help each other?

I am starting to question if their doctors, therapists, etc really care about them as people, human beings or just like having someone famous as a patient. What is causing their depression and as a result alcohol and drug abuse? What is it about the industry that creates this self loath in them?

For us, the average Joe, we can't seem to understand how people who "have it all" aren't happy, content and just enjoying life. They have access to opportunities some of us only dream of having. For some of us, the thought of having camera everywhere is an invasion of privacy but we could do with some of the fortune.

It's also a great indication of how material things do not create inner peace and fill us with the happiness intended for us. God tells us not to invest in earthly goods and it's sad to think we need reminders like death to keep us on the straight and narrow.

The inventing world around us adds to the materialistic thinking too but offering big, better, faster items like televisions, dvd players, cellphones. Does this give us happiness or create inner peace? I don't think so. These things creates laziness, lack of imagination, thinking and physical symptoms like deafness. They also hinder our ability to communicate and interact effectively with other human beings.

God created us to be communal, to love one another, be of service to others but yet the modern world doesn't always promote this. God wants to shake hands, conversate with each other, help others not facebook, e-mail and what's app each other. God wants us to share His word and love by our actions and thoughts not by the material things around us.

Upon reflection, this blog seems more like a rant than a revelation. And what do I know, I'm still a growing Christian trying to figure where I fit in God's puzzle for us and for me.

Material items might give you happiness for a day, a month, a year but it will never replace of having God's love fill your soul and heart for eternity.

Connection

This past week-end the Ladies in our family, young and old, went away together. No kids, no partners, just the girls. We do this every two years and it is so much fun. We do it to re-connect with each other, spend time together and just bond.

Our lives are so busy and we don't all live close to each so this is our way of not losing touch with each other and to remind us that family is still important in between the differences, arguments. We talk about the things we often shy away from, we play games, take walks and communicate.

Feeling connected with family and friends form part of our support system and keeping close bonds with them help us to face the problems and issues we have in our lives. Knowing that they will be there to pick us up and accept us for who we are. They might not always understand the choices we make and the things we do but they are the very few people who have the ability to love us and really see who we really are.

Another great thing about being well connected with your loved ones is that sometimes just being in their company, not necessarily talking but just being together forms a bond. The ladies in our family is a great example of this as we give each other the space to be alone, whether its just lying on a bed staring into space or reading a novel in the sunlight. We give each other space but also make time to spend doing something together no matter how big or small.

Having connections seemed to be lost in today's time. Families and even siblings aren't as close as they should be. Families today hardly see each other. Of course, sometimes circumstances creates us being disconnected somewhat but that's when we need to get creative and find interesting ways to stay in touch.

Our connections help us also to feel that we are important and really "here". They are our telephone wires and when one has a crack or breaks we start to feel lost and life pressures. It creates stress and sometimes loneliness and depression. 

Don't give up on trying to stay connected. Deep down, we love the feeling of being connected to people.
We want to belong and being connected with family and friends creates this feeling of belonging.

So....STAY CONNECTED!

Fiction Frenzy

Yesterday, I stepped into a place, I haven't been in for a good while - the library. It reminded me of how much I love the smell of old, withered, read books and how peaceful, yet inviting a library can be. You would  think in this day and age of technology, libraries were no longer popular but I was wrong. It warmed my heart to hear someone come in to apply for a library card and to see the excitement on my child's face after collecting her new library card and taking books out. Good, old fashioned reading is still the best.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed the many blessings God has given us even through something like a library where our mind can think, learn, wonder and create. 

As I was looking for books, I came across an interesting shelf which made stop and wonder about good vs. evil. There were Stephen King novels right next to Karen Kingsbury novels and of course, my imagination started running wild. Of course, logic tells me that it makes sense alpabetically but that line of thought is so boring. What interested me is how two very different authors get shelved together.

The one, to me, is a good writer but very eerie, sinister and some would say evil. His stories creates fear in us, get the heart beating faster in anticipation to find out what is waiting for us around the corner. The other, is also a good writer, but creates emotions in us that we don't necessarily express regularly or on a daily basis. The one feeds on our interest in fear thrills and spills where the other fees on our interest for relationships, drama and emotions such as love, hurt, grief, etc.

Naturally, my imagination took it a step further and I imagined the scene when the lights are out and all is locked and silent. I imagined the characters out of Stephen King's novels meeting the characters out of Karen Kingsbury's novels.

What would happen? How would faith clash with evil?What kind of conversations would be had? Would their be a spiritual warfare or just a fiction-filled battle? 

Blog Babe

The sound of computer keys tap through the air, as the world carries on around her, without any notice from her. She is engrossed in her world as she creates rapidly and her coffee gets cold. People notice her in the window but she doesn’t pay them any attention.

She loves writing, her imagination free to run wild, the names coming alive to her; the words appear in her mind as she types. She doesn’t notice the hustle and bustle all around her, the dull hum of people through the window.

Her fingers start cramping telling her to take a break and stretch her fingers. She sits back into her cigar chair and grabs her coffee. Sipping slowly enjoying a cold coffee, she finally looks through the window, fascinated by the people around and that night has fallen. Slowly, she turns her head and sits right up, frozen in place, looking at a certain spot across the way.

She can't make out what exactly it is. The shadow created by the nearby street lamp creates an eerie picture in front of her. The scene reminds her of a movie. An odd looking shape on the sidewalk while three dark figures hover around it. She watches as the three figures disappear into the night.

She puts her empty mug down and re-types her blog for this week:

"I sit in my usual spot in this small place, hearing the hustle hum in the back of my mind while I start typing this blog for you. My coffee had gotten cold and the pain severe when I realised what I thought was hours typing. I decided to take a break and drink my coffee, watching the world outside. 

As I pondered my next sentence, my eye caught a scene on the sidewalk. An odd shape lying on the sidewalk down one of the side alleys. It was in open view yet not enough to be noticed. The street lamp creates the eerie scene. Around this odd shape are three figures hovering around it in the dark. Without looking behind them, they walk off into the night. 

It gave me chills down my spine but I thought I had to write it down. I feel like a detective with all these questions racing in my mind. What is the shape? Person, animal? Who were the three figures? Should I walk over to have a peek?"

Looking up again, across the way she notices the odd shape gone. Feeling scared and paranoid, she decides to leave for home. No need to peek anymore.

 

Gut feeling

"Go with your gut", "what is your gut telling you"
These are phrases used by people often to tell us to listen to our "gut feeling" but what if that feeling is actually the Holy Spirit and God prompting us to go in His direction.

Whenever we get an idea and/or need to make a decision which suggests a major life change we get a gut feel and this feeling generally tells us whether the change feels right or wrong. Could this be God sending the Holy Spirit to prompt us to walk the path God intended for us. Could this be God giving us a message that we actually can feel?

God said he will never forsake us and maybe it's His way to remind us, nudge us along. I know you going to ask but what about Non-Christians? They also get this gut feeling. True but consider this....

God is always knocking, asking us to let Him into our heart, our life, our love. He will keep knocking on the hearts of non-believers. What if He gives non-believers these gut feelings in the hope that they will come to realise that it is God knocking, reminding, nudging them to accept and follow Him.

Love, Hope and Faith are God's gifts given to us so we can love, give hope and have faith in Him and others. God talks to us using many different ways and people.

Maybe our gut feeling is one way God also tries to get us to reflect and look at our life and where we are going in life. If we are doing what God feels is right in our life. Maybe is just another way God is trying to give us a "reality check or wake up call".

I am not a theologian and might have perceived this very wrong but this has kept me thinking for a good while so I thought I would put it down in print. I just wonder if feelings like this are given to us by God, how many good opportunities, good direction and choices we might have missed. I wonder if my life would be different if I listened to the gut feeling especially if God created that feeling for a specific reason. 

Go with God because He is all the gut we need!

Does it scare you too?

Today, motivational speakers keep telling us don't be afraid of failure. Failure is part of the process, part of achieving success in the end. It's true but what do they say if you are afraid of the complete opposite. Afraid of success?!

Yes, I know, reading this you are probably wondering how anyone can be afraid of succeeding in life, succeeding in anything for that matter.Well, I am. I am afraid of trying something and actually succeeding. I also know that I am not the only one out there that feels this way.

I find trying and failing easier to deal with and move on from than trying and succeeding. "Huh", you say. Let me explain.

People don't tell you that when you achieve success that the people around you expect you to keep that level of success going all the time. They also don't tell you that you seem to apply quite a lot of pressure on yourself to keep on top of your game which in business is a good assumption. People assume that you are always on top of your game and get very surprised when you slip up, make a mistake or just plain forget things.

Now, that's what's scary. The thought of trying to keep the success going, the level of achievement of a high standard scares me. What if I can't keep it going? What if I slip up? Do I lose the respect of others? Do they doubt my abilities?

Talk about pressure.Yes, I know this is more self-talk than actually people's opinions but man, the voice in your head can really affect you more sometimes than others. This is when you become your own enemy, your own doubter.

How do I combat this issue, I keep trying. Yes, it takes me longer, meaning days, months perhaps to take the first step but I force myself to do it. I force myself not to worry about this until I am actually there. Then a slight panic emerges. Panic turns into nerves which turns into excitement once the good realisation becomes apparent.

So........here I go......trying to succeed.

A Time for Everything

This week I battled to think about what to write and then I started to think about one of my favorite verses in the Bible. Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3, Verse 1 – 8.  ‘There is a time for everything, and everything on earth has its special season’.

What I love about these verses is that it is so relevant to your life, no matter what century you are living in. I also love that it can relate to so many different things and have possibly different meanings to each person.

Life is one wonderful special season for all us and yes, there is a time for everything in life. God creates time for us to experience all that the life He has given us.

There is a time to be born and a time to die. Yes, this means literally to be born and to die but it could also mean to let the “old” you die when you are saved and allow the “new” you to be born in the light of the Lord.

There is a time to plant and a time to pull up plants. Interestingly enough, yes, this also means literally there are preferred times to plant plants and pull out plants especially if they are no longer growing. Regarding human beings, this could mean there is a time to plant, to sow new seeds and/or things in our life which we allow to grow, whether it being something like changing careers, changing habits etc. “Pulling out plants” could mean pulling out our personal weeds, maybe trying to change and/or stop bad habits, change our self as a person or possibly getting rid of those things around us that cause us to be someone we don’t particularly like.

There is a time to kill and a time to heal. There is a time to destroy and a time to build. Well, these two verses are interesting as we have to really thing about these two verses to see how it relates to our life.  To me, these two verses seem quite harsh as it is very direct and blunt. To kill could mean to end something or end a relationship with somebody, something or somebody that could be destroying us which can be very difficult especially when a person might feel it is the best they can do and/or because it's all they know. The upside of this is when a person has made the decision to end it; there is a time to heal and a time to build. The time to heal is allowing yourself to get better, to reflect and also re-build yourself as a person and in turn your environment.

There is a time to cry and a time to laugh. There is a time to be sad and a time to dance.  I love these verses as it really relates to our ups and downs, our highs and lows of life. These two verses make you recall good and bad memories. Straight away our time to cry and time to be sad would make us recall a time when we have lost something and/or somebody in our life. This is when we cried until we fell asleep or felt sad until we found something to make us smile again. Our times to laugh and dance are the weddings, parties we attended and our family we created memories with and our friends we made along the way. These are times we were silly together, spoke nonsense, made a noise and just spent time together. These two verses helps us to remember the tears we’ve cried, the laughter we helped create and the time we held hands and danced together.

There is a time to throw away stones and a time to gather them. First I thought this could relate to leave people out of our life and keep others in our life. Upon further reflection, I thought that this could mean there are times when we should let things that happen, happen and/ or things people say affect us and then there are times when we should just let it go. What I mean by this, is there are times when we should allow ourselves to have intense emotion in healthy ways (and not lash out at the person) and maybe think about what the person is trying to tell us and there are times, especially if you have heard something about you via the grapevine, that we should just let it go (especially if you know it not to be true). We need to pick our battles and fight in a constructive and healthy way to get our side across.

There is a time to hug and a time not to hug. To me, this just means after a resolved issue between two people, a hug could start the love and seal the deal but hugging in the middle of an issue could lead to physical harm. A hug is a great way to let anyone know that you do care but like this chapter says…there really is a time for everything. Choose the time to hug wisely!

There is a time to look for something and a time to stop looking for it. There is a time to keep things and a time to throw things away. These verses can relate to any changes you might want to make in your life. For example, if your interests and/or passion have changed this could lead to a career change and in turn means a time to look for something. The second part of this verse could mean that maybe you are searching for something that you know deep down is really not suited for you and this would be the time to stop searching.  There is a time to keep things especially in times of loss , we tend to hang on to material items which makes us feel still connected to that person but eventually the time comes when we have to throw it away and close that chapter in order for us to start looking for something new.

There is a time to tear apart and a time to sew together. This verse can be related to some of the verses mentioned above. There is a time to “tear” our bad relationships and there is a time to “sew” together. This is a great verse to remember when you and your family are going through a rough patch and it seems that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. It is a good opportunity to reflect on things that should be ended or “torn apart” and a time to really get closer to each other, supporting each other and drawing strength from each other in difficult times. Our family is our quilt, they keep us warm, they allow us to show our loose threads and that we are coming apart at the seams and because we keep re-sewing all of us together when these threads start showing.

There is a time to be silent and a time to speak. There is a time to love and a time to hate. There is a time for war and a time for peace.  The first verse is a good tool we all, I think, need to learn. However, it can be difficult to master this. I think we should always try to think before we speak especially if we might say something that could really hurt the other person. A time to love and a time to hate can be misused in many ways. I like to think we should try and love all the times which is also not easy to do including when something happens which creates an emotion of hate. It’s how we use that emotion of hate which makes the difference. This leads to when there is a time for war and a time for peace. This verse also means to pick your battles wisely and show peace when appropriate. Sometimes a time for war could be to state your opinion in a peaceful yet effective way. We don’t need to use aggression or anger to get our view across and for it to make an impact. We also need to notice the time to rather express peace and not add fuel to the fire.

This Chapter in the Bible allows us to think of all different aspects of our life and how each verse relates to us on a personal, emotional and spiritual way. I love the way it creates imagery in our minds and helps us to reflect on the past, present and future.

There is a time for everything and everything happens in God’s time.

Inspiration......

Every now and then, I ask this question on my social media sites to see what responses I get but it seems either not many people know and/or they are just tired of seeing that question.

For me, it's music, movies and books.

I love the way music is often connected to memories or personal experiences we've had and how the same emotions re-emerge every time we hear it. It causes us to have flashbacks of things gone by. Music inspires me by the beat, the dance moves and the lyrics. Some songs create a beat to make you move your feet which in turn gets you to feel better about yourself, life. Others have great dance moves which inspire me and others to learn to dance, maybe feel sexy and the lyrics sometimes gets you to reflect on life, yourself, family, friends or just get in touch with "you".

Books creates the opportunity to get inspired. Sometimes without you even knowing it. The cover might make you pick it up but the story is what affects you. They allow you to walk and live in someone elses' shoes, travel in their world, experience their emotions. I get inspired because it allows me to escape, see things from another viewpoint, encourage "me" time and also gives me the opportunity to learn more about myself and others. Fictional characters help me to connect to them and inspires me to reflect on me, especially if what the character is going through is similar or the same of my experiences, whether it be past and/or present.

Even though we might have read the book beforehand, movies make the books come alive. The music, the people, the life lessons and emotions. Movies inspire me as it allows me to see the story and to reflect on it visually. Special features on a DVD gives me insight into the heads of the people behind the scenes especially the scenes we come to love and don't forget. I listen when a director explains a scene and/or the background as more than once it is different to what I envisioned the movie to mean. Movies allow me to see the message and/or moral clearer, which I love.

I get inspired when a song, a book and even a movie teaches me something about life, others and/or myself. I get inspired when it makes me, afterwards, sit in stillness, thinking about what I've read, heard and/or seen.

These medias can truly be life-changing!

So, what inspires you? Is the beat, the love scene or the classic words of an writer?

Help me, help you!

Hi Everyone

Please answer my question as I am doing research for my future - thank you and God Bless

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A view from the other side

I have been a widow for over 8 years now and I still get the look. You know the one...."Shame, I feel sorry for you." The look filled with pity. It's not that I don't want people to care, it's just I often wonder when does it stop and does it ever stop?

I can only react with a little chuckle as I don't really know how to react to that look. Even after all this time, I still don't know what to say as I feel like an "old widow". I'm old in that it has been 8 years but I'm young in age which I think is the shock factor for many.

However, I don't see being a widow as a pitiful thing. Don't get me wrong...of course, I loved my husband and that's just the point. I loved and cherished him.

I feel honored that God blessed me with him and the time we had. Sure, I am sad that we didn't get old together and that he didn't get to see his child grow up but I don't feel that having lost him put a damper on my life.

It actually made me re-look at my life and gave me the opportunity to start again. Not sure if I am getting it right second time round but I won't stop trying.

Being a widow is a curse and a blessing. It's a curse as the one person you count on is no longer there and you don't have someone to bounce things off of when life gets tough or you need an honest response. It is a blessing because it reminds you of how short life really is, how lucky you were to meet that person and how you can live your life exactly how you want it to be. It also tells you that you have the ability to truly love someone until "death do you part".

Being a widow or widower can be lonely sometimes but this is when we need to nurture and grow our family relationships and friendships, a time to re-connect and time to also learn how to be on our own and what makes us happy.


In our life, we acquire many labels like wife, mother, widow etc, but it's what we do with them that makes a difference. These labels helps us identify with people on different levels but they don't control how we live our life necessarily.

To all my fellow widows and widowers - Wear your label proudly, smile with sincerity and chuckle when you get the look!

Paranoid or Safety Conscious?

Sitting back and looking at society, I find myself wondering if we, as a society are becoming paranoid or conscious of safety.

We have put alarm systems, burglar bars, high walls, etc in and onto our houses with the hope and confidence that our family and house will not be corrupted by others. Is this us being safety conscious or becoming paranoid as we worry about the fact of getting murdered in our sleep.

I get the sense of paranoia from others when out in public, regardless of time and day. People today walk around on edge all the time. Experts say go for a walk for exercise but also to relax - REALLY?

They also say take some "me" time and enjoy a coffee by yourself. Those of you who have done this, do you honestly relax completely and ease into the booth or chair, grab your book and get lost in the words as you have a coffee OR do you hold your bag close to your side or body making sure no one can get it. You forgot your book so you bought a magazine which you quickly page through in between checking out each person that walks past and/or enters the coffee shop, and before you know it, your coffee is finished and your intention of spending an hour in quiet time ends up only being 20 minutes as you want to rush home to feel completely relaxed and safe behind your high walls, burglar bars, watch dogs etc. 

Take a look at the people around you next time you are going to the shops. They are clutching their handbags, constantly looking around and look at everyone that passes like they are a possible criminal.

Gone are the days when you could walk in the road, enjoying the sunshine, laughing at the children playing in the streets. Now, we rush around to get done, scared to walk alone and even getting into a car can create tension in people.

People used to love staying alone at home, opening doors and windows wide, letting in the sun and the sounds of birds or enjoying the evening and star gazing. Now, as soon as dark settles in, windows are shut, curtains closed, doors locked and ease into bed, praying that God blesses us with a safe and restful sleep.

Should we blame each other for being paranoid and/or conscious of safety? Maybe not, especially as things are in South Africa and the world. Especially since a human life is not as important and/ or need to be considered as much as it was in the past.

So.......do feel paranoid or safety conscious in your life? Are you able to walk down the street with a hop in your step and not worry about what could jump out at you from behind the next tree or the corner?

Another Lonely Boy in the World

On the 8th May 2013, I took my child to see Justin Bieber. I have to say that I was impressed. As a 19 year old, he does know how to entertain but watching him reminded me of watching his interview with Oprah. I remember thinking what loneliness I see in his eyes even though he is smiling.

People often say how can he be lonely. He is rich, famous and gets whatever he wants but do you remember what you were doing at 19? I had a boyfriend, going out, having fun, being amongst people who liked me for me. Studying, hanging out in the cafeteria, talking nonsense with lecturers, figuring out who I want to be when I grow up. And what is JB doing? Spending how many months travelling, performing, practicing, promoting........when does he get to be 19?

The reason for writing this blog is because I am worried. I worry that he will one day as an adult, sit in the mansion on the hill, reflecting and wishing he had the chance to be a normal 19 year old. Maybe he doesn't see it the way I see it.

As a Mom, I wonder if he does feel lonely and how he deals with it....maybe acting out is his way of dealing with it. It must be quite lonely sometimes trying to figure out who you can trust, genuinely talk to. Yes, he might have family and his management team but sometimes you just need someone outside the inner circle, someone who can be objective.

To me, I see JB looking like a boy but acting like a man. Yes, I know many of you would say, well, he chose the life, it's his dream come true and I understand that and think it is great. But I wonder how he feels when the media tells the world how he misbehaved somewhere and in his eyes, he is just being 19.

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A Writer in Limbo

One of my ultimate goals is to write a story and  get it published. Before, you stop reading, thinking not another one....give me a chance.

Of course, there are so many of us, desperate to see our name in print but that's not the only reason I want to write. I love getting the image of writing a story that might be able to help someone else reflect or give them advice on an issue that they have been facing. You know, give them an Oprah "ah-ha" moment. I would love to see someone sitting in their "sunny" chair reading my paperback with a smile on their face and a good feeling in their soul.

Authors keep saying to future writers, keep writing, but do you know how hard it is to write when you work full day, a mom at night and then you start writing and your story goes to a certain point and for the life of you, you can't figure out where it needs to go next.

Yes, this might sound like an excuse not to write, but what is a writer who practically starts with writer's block. A writer who sees the end result in their mind but just can't get the flow going before that point.

I am a writer in limbo..........searching for that story that grips me and makes me write til my fingers cramp and the page is smudged with dirt.


What morals would you like find out in an novel? What makes you spend hours in your "sunny" chair with a paperback and a smile on your face?

I would love to know.......while I float in limbo.

To drive or not to drive? Motivation is key

At 18, we all start getting excited at the thought of getting our driver's license. Life in the fast lane.....independence.

However, the people around you, including driver's instructors don't tell you how nerve-wracking it is to actually do the test. Trust me, I know! Yes, sure they can't tell you how you will be feeling on the day. They just give you the usual "you will feel nervous but don't worry you are going to be okay". Easier said than done!

As I type this blog, I am 32 and passed my driving test on the 7th try. Every time I went, I felt more nervous than before even though I had been driving for a good while - even driving on my own. Thank goodness, I had a family around me to keep motivating me to keep trying but nothing helped me with the nerves until I met my last driving instructor. And I had to motivate myself especially when I became a Mom.

After 10 lessons with him, he told he couldn't teach me anymore but urged me to take Calmettes at least a week before my test, which I did. Man, was I glad I listened. Yes, my heart was racing, I couldn't barely breathe but I was able to concentrate on the task ahead.

Needless to say, the time before the test seemed more nerve-wracking as my driving instructor and I misunderstood each other. I thought he booked me, he thought I was first going to have lessons in between and I thought I didn't need them. So there I was on a Saturday morning, ready by 05h30 to be picked up 06h00. 06h00 came and went and so it 06h30. 06h45 I phoned him to find out where he was and he was just as surprised as I am. I was supposed to have a "warm-up" lesson as I hadn't driven the car in two weeks.

My poor driving instructor sped to pick me up by 07h10 (remembering that I had to be at the traffic department by 07h15), still needing to put fuel in the vehicle. Fuel in and we got to the traffic department by 07h20.

Without a "warm-up", I managed to do the test, barely breathing, hands shaking, heart racing but with Calmettes in my system.

Now, I have my driver's license and certain friends/family are more nervous to drive with me now that I am legal than we I had my learner's. Go figure!!!!

What's the point of this story?

DON'T GIVE UP - SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, THERE IS ANOTHER PERSON JUST LIKE YOU, GOING THROUGH A SIMILAR SITUATION AND THERE ARE OTHERS WHO HAVE ACHIEVED WHAT YOU ARE ATTEMPTING.

WHEN IN DOUBT, REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT THE FIRST PERSON TO DO IT!!

Sometimes we always wait for someone to motivate us, give us the positivity we need. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this but we also need to motivate ourselves. Remind ourselves all the good things to come from obtaining a goal, especially when a goal seems to become an obstacle.

Self-motivation also helps us to become emotionally stronger. It helps us to deal with emotions that cause us not to try. Without you realizing it, you could be viewed as a role model for someone who needs motivation. Keep telling yourself that you can do it and you will do it.

Encourage yourself while others encourage you too!